“People often talk about how switching to a safer nicotine product can benefit the person making the change, but I don’t think we talk enough about the families,” Dal Gorley told Filter. “Partners and loved ones go through the journey too.”
When her husband quit smoking, it had a profound impact on their whole family. “I don’t think either of us realized just how much it affected our lives until he finally stopped,” Gorley said.
Her husband lives with PTSD; like many people experiencing mental health challenges, he depended on cigarettes. But smoking being a large part of her husband’s life meant it featured heavily in hers, too. “Every outing, every holiday, every family event revolved around cigarette breaks,” Gorley said.
Then he switched to a much safer, smoke-free form of nicotine use: vaping. Gorley was initially cautious—vapes get a lot of bad press, after all—but soon found that it transformed family life. “He seems more present, more engaged, and enjoys being active in a way that wasn’t as common before,” she said.
“When we talk about quitting smoking, we typically focus on the person quitting, but not necessarily how it can impact their closest loved ones.”
Besides the positive health implications and the absence of secondhand smoke from their house and clothing, Gorley credits her husband’s switch with strengthening their relationship and their family. She particularly values a better quality of time without the cigarette breaks, especially when she and her husband recently became grandparents. “Being able to spend uninterrupted time with our granddaughter has meant the world to us.”
The Gorleys live in Melbourne, Australia, where vapes are heavily restricted and can only be obtained through participating pharmacies or a doctor’s prescription. This very limited access costs other families the chance of similar outcomes.
“When we talk about quitting smoking, we typically focus on the person quitting, but not necessarily how it can impact their closest loved ones,” Todderick Prochnau, a pharmacist in Canada who has run smoking-cessation clinics, told Filter. “Importantly, quitting can improve the health of those that they live with too!”
Prochnau said that 1 percent of all deaths internationally are due to secondhand smoke exposure—some estimates put it even higher—and transitioning to smoke-free options, like vapes, pouches or heated tobacco products, removes that risk for loved ones.
The results overwhelmingly indicate positive changes in emotional wellbeing, sociability, quality of life and shared experiences.
But the fact that it’s not only about eliminating passive smoking is illustrated by a recent survey, published by the research and media organization We Are Innovation.
Aiming to measure “the perspectives of friends, partners, and family members on the transition from traditional cigarettes to innovative nicotine products,” the survey involved 4,000 respondents in five countries to find out what “quitting looks like from the outside.” The results overwhelmingly indicate positive changes in emotional wellbeing, sociability, quality of life and shared experiences.
These knock-on benefits of smoking cessation are often overlooked. Asked why the survey focused on the loved ones of people who quit smoking, Federico Fernandez, CEO of We Are Innovation, replied: “Because nobody has asked them before.”
“Every survey on smoking cessation asks the smoker how they feel,” Fernandez told Filter. “Nobody asks the partner who used to smell of smoke on every hug, or the daughter who could not have friends over because the house smelled like an ashtray—these people live with the change too.”
Policymakers who determine people’s access to smoking-cessation tools need to hear these important voices, Fernandez added.
Caz Humphreys works at a smoking-cessation clinic in Leicester, England. In her 18 years as a stop-smoking advisor, she has witnessed the introduction and development of vapes.
Humphreys recalled an occasion when a woman brought her father into the clinic, an ex-servicemember who had served in the Falklands War. He had spent most of his adult life self-medicating his stress with cigarettes.
“This case changed my mind completely about vaping as a method to quit smoking,” Humphreys told Filter.
“Of course he has benefited, but so have I. I have a partner who is fit and well, and I’m not his carer, which I may have become.”
“Within just one week, he entered the clinic looking totally different,” she continued. “Upright, breathing easier, pink in hue with much more energy.” This, she said, was “positively life-changing” for his family.
Another client of Humphreys who switched to safer nicotine products was then able to play soccer with his son—something he had struggled with before. With the money he saved from quitting cigarettes, he took his son to tournaments and bought tickets to watch a soccer game abroad.
Stories like these are close to Humphreys’ heart when she lost her own father to a smoking-related illness. Her partner, who also smoked, switched to vapes after she suggested it to him. He now walks in the hills with her, after joining her walking club.
“Of course he has benefited, but so have I,” Humphreys said. “I have a partner who is fit and well, and I’m not his carer, which I may have become. Money saved has also made a good impact on family finances.”
There are so many more stories like these. Grove Mitchell smoked for 30 years until he switched to vapes. “A smoker leads a whole other second life, away from everyone but other smokers, huddled around an ash bin in the freezing cold,” he told Filter.
“Partners that both smoke now have more options available: One may quit nicotine altogether and the other may successfully transition to a smoke-free form.”
Alongside the other benefits, switching made Mitchell feel more connected to those closest to him. “A huge increase in the baseline feeling of wellbeing leads one to be open to more activities with the family,” he said.
While the loved ones of the person who smoked stand to benefit greatly, it is often their support that is critical to the person being able to make such a positive change. Prochnau noted that in his practice he has witnessed how, if a couple both smoke, it is difficult for one of them to quit if the other has not made the same decision. “Data also shows that it is much harder to successfully quit smoking if your partner continues to smoke,” he said.
“Smoke-free forms of nicotine provide another option to those partners who may not be able to quit smoking by conventional means,” Prochnau continued. “Essentially, partners that both smoke now have more options available: One partner may quit nicotine altogether and the other partner may successfully transition to a smoke-free form of nicotine, allowing substantial improvement in risk and health for both partners.”
All in all, Fernandez said, the testimonies of partners, family members and friends emphasize one important reality: “Quitting is not a solo act.”
Photograph by Alberto Casetta on Unsplash
