The need for harm reduction around alcohol use is both pressing and obvious. Yet too often—in a field dominated on the one hand by concerns over use of banned drugs, and on the other by the ubiquity of Alcoholics Anonymous and abstinence-only rehabs—it is overlooked and unsupported.
I set out to remedy this when I founded the nonprofit HAMS in 2007. HAMS—an acronym for Harm reduction, Abstinence, and Moderation Support—is a lay-led, free-of-charge support group for alcohol harm reduction, which today has over 13,000 online participants.
HAMS supports any positive change in regard to alcohol use, and supports members in goals they choose for themselves, ranging from safer drinking to reduced drinking to quitting altogether. What does success look like for HAMS members? The answer is different for every individual. Below are 10 stories by way of example—told in the person’s own words, edited for length, and shared with consent. All names are pseudonyms.
Wally
My HAMS story began around 2012. At the time I was drinking about a fifth of tequila and snorting about 2 grams of cocaine on a daily basis. I had been in and out of AA meetings for about 25 years, with mixed results. I quit trying the AA approach because of the toxic personalities there.
It was at about this time that I came across a HAMS video online and it caught my attention. I’ve been following HAMS articles and using the HAMS Facebook group for support/education ever since. Over time I have been able to drastically reduce the amount of alcohol and cocaine that I drink/use.
Some of the harm reduction techniques that I use are: counting the number of drinks that I have daily and recording them in the HAMS online drink tracker; only drinking at home by myself; drinking only after 4 pm; never driving while intoxicated; skipping drinking days; cost-benefit analysis, eating food when drinking; and smoking cannabis. I use the HAMS Facebook group for support/friendship daily, and find it highly useful.
Most days I drink about eight shots of bourbon and use cocaine about twice a month. I’m happy with this number of drinks but have to abstain from coke ASAP. Trying to get there. Overall, my drinking/using is much much lower, and causes me far less trouble than they did before I started trying to change my habits with HAMS techniques.
“One of the biggest shifts for me is that I no longer see drinking as all-or-nothing. If I choose to have a drink, I do not see that as failure.”
Rachel
Before HAMS, I had been drinking daily for approximately three years. I never drank in the mornings and continued to maintain my professional responsibilities, so for a long time I did not see my drinking as problematic. During the height of my drinking, I would start drinking after seeing my last therapy client, and drank both socially and at home. Although I was not drinking heavily every day, there were periods where I drank to blackout. Over time, I realized alcohol had become automatic and something I relied on socially. It negatively affected my mood, social life and overall well-being.
I first learned about HAMS while taking a drug and alcohol class where we discussed alternatives to traditional abstinence-based programs. What appealed to me was the focus on harm reduction, personal choice, and reducing shame rather than labels or perfection.
Today, I am mostly abstinent. In the past seven months, I have only had a couple of cocktails. One of the biggest shifts for me is that I no longer see drinking as all-or-nothing. If I choose to have a drink, I do not see that as failure. Alcohol does not control me—it had simply become too important in my life, and I changed that relationship.
The most helpful tools for me were the cost benefit analysis and the accountability culture within HAMS. Kenneth’s drink count posts were especially meaningful because everyone reported honestly—whether they had zero drinks or 10—without judgment. I also tried naltrexone, but it was not the right fit for me because I felt like it reduced enjoyment overall. I read the HAMS book and found it insightful (although I’m still hoping for an audiobook someday).
Joe
My drinking before HAMS was excessive, especially around 2021 when I joined the group. I blacked out in Las Vegas, was denied access to my flight home and had to stay another night. That’s when I realized I had to change.
My drinking now is more controlled, most of the time. I still go on benders when I’m stressed, but I’ve been leaning more into the A in HAMS, spending time alcohol-free so I can focus on fixing the problems in my life. HAMS gave me a community of like-minded people who don’t judge and don’t believe in “tough love,” but will also offer rational, logical advice. Also, HAMS, and especially How to Change Your Drinking, helped me understand what is going on with my brain and my behavior around alcohol, giving actual insights based on scientific studies and a more modern understanding of addictions and use disorders.
My main tools for supporting my plan are definitely charting my drinks—I still notice a huge difference in the amount consumed if I don’t track and keep that number at the forefront of my mind while drinking—timing my drinks to better pace myself; not relying 100 percent on shots when drinking; taking regular alcohol-free periods of at least two weeks (usually longer at this point); and I create a cost-benefit analysis and written plan about every month, taking into account how I want my drinking to change.
I am a huge fan of the HAMS book, and I read it about twice a year to keep myself accountable. I also am very active on the Facebook group, and I’ve found helping others has assisted in my own recovery journey. I didn’t join the Zoom meetings for my first few years in HAMS, but now they are something I look forward to, getting to share what’s been going on, and being able to connect with others about their struggles and wins. All in all I’ve struggled with life since around COVID, adding kids, losing jobs with long-term unemployment, and general mental health issues, but one thing that has remained constant is HAMS. I’ve tried a lot of the other groups and books […] but nothing I’ve experienced has gotten to the core of the apple like HAMS, and I’m eternally grateful.
Mary
I’m just about to hit four years abstinent from alcohol with my partner. We did it together after he puked blood from a day-long binge, and I lost a very dear friend from alcohol-related suicide and feared I might follow him. I’d come very close to checking out myself in 2021, and ended up in hospital three times in one week. We’d tried moderation but always failed miserably.
We ran a harm reduction charity in the UK for 10 years, but when we lost our funding in 2014 we slowly slipped into a pattern of binge drinking ourselves, which soon became a nightmare for me due to the kindling effect, which I learned about in the HAMS group.
HAMS helped me ground myself and not feel guilty or embarrassed about messing up, even though I knew all the dangers and pitfalls of drinking again inside out. It’s easy to help and advise others, but hard to apply that same compassion to yourself sometimes. HAMS was a safe space for me to vent and share without judgment. I’d had terrible experiences with AA in the past, so it’s wonderful that alternatives like HAMS exist now.
“Being amongst others who shared similar struggles helped me understand that I am not alone and I am not the monster I was acting like.”
Martha
Before HAMS I was drinking two-to-three fifths of liquor a day. Drinking would make me act paranoid and erratically. My partner at the time was not helpful, and I was also struggling with my mental health. I’d cause bodily harm to myself and property damage around me when I’d have my paranoid fits. I ended up in the psych ward three different times in the first half of 2025.
I found HAMS looking for a secular support group for drinking, because I knew my relationship with alcohol was not healthy and needed to change. I started scrolling HAMS, and being amongst others who shared similar struggles helped me understand that I am not alone and I am not the monster I was acting like. Reading other people’s success stories gave me hope I could also get out of this rut I found myself in.
I met someone who was nice and kind, who didn’t drink, and didn’t enable that behavior. I moved in with him in September 2025. And now, almost a year later in August, I will be one year sober. I didn’t use any medications or tools to help with quitting. For me, it was about leaving behind the environment I was in. Not wanting to be in that survival mode state anymore… And surrounding myself with people who share my value of wanting to not drink. And willpower.
I never experienced any withdrawal symptoms other than the hangxiety. I simply went to the psych hospital one final time and never took another sip after that. I took a Greyhound out of state and away from that environment. Drinking isn’t for me. I don’t know if there will ever be a day where I can casually enjoy a drink again. But if not, I’ve accepted that reality.
Naomi
I became active in HAMS after suffering a life-threatening bout with alcohol last year. I was drinking vodka 24/7 and ended up in the ICU in critical condition. I had to call an ambulance for myself.
Since then, I’ve joined HAMS Zoom meetings multiple times per week and have made real friends. Through support of my goals of not necessarily full sobriety, they’ve met me where I’m at. Today, I’m drinking far less, have regained partial custody of my kids and wouldn’t be here without my HAMS support network. They mean the world to me. The vodka is gone. The 24/7 drinking is gone. HAMS got me there, due to group accountability and work on my own. I have my life back with my children, and that’s a gift from HAMS I can never overstate. The Zoom calls are life-altering for me, and I’d recommend them to anyone struggling.
Esther
I am one that chooses to be alcohol-free. Before I detoxed, I was in a cycle of blackout drinking, being sick throughout the workday until I could have a drink on the way home from work. Weekends were just a blur. I medically detoxed three times within a year. It was a never-ending cycle.
I choose to be abstinent because I have too much to lose, as a single mother whose children lost their father to alcohol. I found the HAMS Facebook page after my last detox, and felt a sense of relief. HAMS has been immensely helpful to me because there is no judgment. I’m not flawed, I’m human. There is nothing wrong with me. My current plan that works for me has been bi-weekly therapy to deal with my trauma from my ex husband. I do utilize legal THC/CBD edibles at night, which helps with sleep and anxiety. I interact on the HAMS Facebook page.
Grace
I stumbled across HAMS one night when I was completely wasted. I wanted to do something about my drinking, and I was like messing around on Facebook and that’s how I found it. At that time I was drinking about a handle (1.75 liters) of booze a night.
I did the HAMS taper, and just having the support from other people who knew where I had been and being able to talk to people and communicate with people who had been there was so helpful. Now, I drink alcohol maybe once a month, about two drinks. Instead, I drink THC beverages, and that helps to curb my, you know, craving for alcohol. Actually, I’d rather drink those than alcohol now. I tried AA and that didn’t work for me. And I tried Antabuse and that was god-awful. I find the HAMS Facebook group and the Zoom meetings really helpful; in fact, I facilitate the Zoom meeting once a week. I’m totally happy that I’m not drinking like I was before, because it was going nowhere good, if you know what I mean.
“I think one of the main things that HAMS taught me is that I’m not powerless. I’m in control.”
Theresa
I was in HAMS before there was even a Facebook group, back when we did a text-based chat. Someone sent me the link to the HAMS taper, and I tapered off of a half gallon of vodka a day.
Now, that didn’t last and I ended up going back to AA. I was sober in AA for six years and I was miserable, and then I decided to try controlled drinking again and that’s when I found the HAMS Facebook group and I joined. So, both times that I went to HAMS, my drinking was out of control.
What is it like now? It is non-existent now. I have been alcohol-free for over three years. I’m on daily naltrexone. I never have cravings. I don’t think about it. Alcohol is not a part of my life, but I’ve also rejected all of the AA norms and stigmas and slogans and bullshit that they taught me over the years. For example, the AA saying that “non-alcoholic beers are for non-alcoholics,” and you shouldn’t go to concerts alone. I go anywhere that I damn well please—because I’m not powerless, and I think one of the main things that HAMS taught me, even though I’m one of the people that are abstinent, is that I’m not powerless. I’m in control. I’m in control of my choices, and when I got away from AA my life actually began.
Samantha
I was going through alcohol withdrawal and searching the web for information because I thought I was going to die, and the HAMS website popped up. I learned about tapering with beer, and ordered a case of beer. It took me eight months to taper down to zero.
I find the Zoom groups very helpful. It’s a sense of community. It’s like a family within a family, and there’s a lot of support—whether you’re going to moderate your drinking, or if you’re going to quit drinking or if you’re just going to be an active drinker. Everybody supports you where you’re at, and I’ve gotten a lot of support over the last six years and it’s definitely the way to go.
I don’t drink at home anymore, so basically if I go out to dinner, I’ll have two cocktails. If I’m at a dinner party, I’ll have no more than four drinks. I’m only drinking once or twice a month now. I’m also on the Mounjaro shot, and they say that actually can help curtail some of the cravings. I’ve lost 81 pounds and my diabetes is well under control now. I don’t know if the Mounjaro is helping the alcohol, but like I said, I’m basically doing weeks on end without anything and no cravings or anything like that, and keeping it to a maximum of four drinks when I do partake.
Photograph by Edward Howell on Unsplash
